We all guilty pleasures. Maybe we feel guilty cause we know it’s wrong….or because it’s not healthy….or maybe because we feel it would be embarrassing if anyone knew. I have a guilty pleasure for each category. But, I think its perfectly normal to have these secrets. I mean, honestly, do you really share everything with people? Are you completely honest all the time?
“Will the medicine taste bad doctor?”
“Will the shot hurt Doctor? ”
See, even doctors have to lie. Or would you like this?
“Will the medicine taste bad?”
“Yes…it will taste horrible. It tastes like phlegm mixed with tartar sauce. And to make things worse, it will give you diarrhea….a serious case of what us doctors call ‘mudbutt’.”
“Will the shot hurt doc?”
“Yes, it will hurt immensely. Your right arm will become numb for two days. And this will affect your aim while urinating. Your aim will veer to the right, so in suggest practicing or you will make a mess everytime you pee.”
No, we don’t want to hear that.
First thing, I love reality TV. My DVR is filled with it. What’s going on the Kardashians? This guy needs to know. Which star is being eliminated from Dancing with the Stars? Again, i’ll be watching with a big tub-o-popcorn. Mama June is getting married in Here comes Honey Boo Boo? Oooh, I gotta see that! Tribal council on Survivor…who’s getting voted off? But seriously, I am addicted to reality tv shows that have to do with singing. I sit there and sing along to every sing song a contestant sings. Well, they hit the notes…I sing terrible. I cheer when my favorite contestants do well and I go into deep depression if one of my favorites leaves the competition. Yes, I know. That’s very manly of me.
I have a huge sweet tooth. I need it all the time. I can stand in the candy aisle for hours. Am I in the mood for chocolate? Something sour? Something fruity? All of the above please. I am a dentist’s nightmare.
“Yes…i have to say this but, you have seven cavities. And they are huge. The size of a Skittles to be exact.”
“Really? Cause I just had some before I got here….you want some? The green ones are my favorite.”
But my all-time favorite sweet thing is caramel. I have eaten jars of that stuff. I put it on ice cream, apples, pies, cakes, and certain body parts. (I don’t recommend it cause it is very sticky and hard to wash off. Plus, you and your significant other will smell like caramel all day.)
Speaking of my junk, that leads me to my next guilty pleasure…social media. I spend all day checking Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. I comment on statuses…like pics…and retweet funny posts. But, my current addiction is Snapchat. Just ask my wife, she constantly receives special pics of me.
But my number one guilty pleasure is blogging. Why? Writing? Really? Yes. Because no one I know knows about this blog. The things I write about my wife…my dirty past….my thoughts on marriage and single life…the struggles with parenting and marriage…it would cause me great trouble if this blog was discovered. But I love writing and expressing myself through it. I am addicted to reading other blogs and sharing in their lives. I feel honored to see that aspect of the people I follow. And if you are reading this…thank you.