“6 lbs 7 ounces”

“Sir….sir…hello sir?”

“Yes…sorry..yes?”

“Cut the umbilical cord please….please.”

“Oh ok, I don’t know…umm. What if I cut a toe off on accident? You guys have to tools to fix that right? Or do those grow back?”

“No…cut it now please.”

I did. And I watched this brand new human being crying her lungs out. She looked right at me and seemed to cry even louder as if to say:

“This guy is supposed to take care of me? Great….here’s to a future of therapy.”

Thr doctor took her away to give her her first bath. He turned to me and said, “congratulations on your baby girl. He handed me my little one. I received her and looked at my wife. I was smiling from ear to ear. She looked puzzled.

“Why are you holding her like that? You are holding her like a fresh loaf of bread out of the oven…” She grabbed the baby and showed me how to do it. I was nervous. I looked around the room…. there seemed to be blood everywhere.

“Hey Doc, why does it look like an episode of CSI in here?” He laughed and said, “pretty normal.”

It had been a long nine months. They were filled with weird food cravings, mood swings, and sexless nights. But, she was finally here. I was clueless. I looked at my wife and asked her to look at the baby.

“I see an instruction manual wasn’t included….I think we need to call customer service and request one.”

That’s my pride and joy. Watching her first steps, hearing her first words, and seeing her smile for the first time….those are memories I will never forget. She has changed our lives forever. I still can’t believe how lucky I am…

The Daily Post-Pride and Joy

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12 thoughts on ““6 lbs 7 ounces”

  1. mewhoami

    This was hilarious!! I still remember being a new parent. It’s terrifying! I’m glad that the DP prompt led me here. Looking forward to reading more from you.

    Reply
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