Wake Up Call on E

May 29, 2013

We all follow a routine. And sometimes our lives seem to roam on auto-pilot. Most of us don’t even remember what day it is…just me? I wake up, take my little one to school, drive to work, pick up my little one from school, and drive home. Glamorous right? Well, in between the normalcy and boring days, lessons can be taught and forgotten. Last week, I walked into work with the same blah face and expected nothing. My phone began to ring and it was from a phone number that I did not recognize. This is never good. Was it a call from a random sweepstakes company calling me to tell me that I had just won millions of dollars? Or maybe I was just drunk dialed by some hottie in a different country? No.

“Hello?”

“Is this ____?”

“Yes…how can I help you?”

“This is _____ and we are calling you I notify you that you have an outstanding debt of ____…you will need to pay it or further action will be taken.”

“Further action? What does that mean? Are you going to call me again? Or wait the 3 day rule…like I used to whenever I met a new female…cause I never wanted to seem over anxious. But sometimes I changed the 3 day rule to less days depending in the last time I had sex. But what ever you do, please don’t tickle me, I really hate that..cause if I laugh too much, I get asthma attacks….”

So needless to say, the rep on the phone was not happy. And neither was I. I now have an unexpected bill to pay and not enough money to pay for it. So I sat there in my seat and started my self-pity party. Why me? What did I do to deserve this? How am I going to come up with the money to pay for this? And why does my left testicle hang a little lower than my right one? I didn’t have the answers to any of them, especially the last question. So I was in a foul and depressed mood for the rest of the work day. I hopped in my car and set off to pick up my little one. After picking her up, the little light on my gas gauge lit up telling me that I was low on gas. I cursed the gods of gas-guzzling vehicles and pulled into the nearest gas station. I opened my wallet and saw 5 bucks. I just needed enough to get home and five would do it. As soon as I popped out of my car, a man rushed to my car and began to clean my windows. I have no clue what was going on. Is there a sign somewhere saying “spend 5 dollars and get a random guy to clean your windows free!”? I walked up to the register to pay for five dollars of gas but I stepped back to look at the man cleaning my windows…and notice he was not alone. He had a stroller next to him. I was heart broken. I couldn’t believe I was complaining earlier. How selfish am I? We do not realize how blessed we really are sometimes.

“Sir, are you going to buy gas?”

“….uh. No. I don’t need any gas.”

I walked out and handed the man who cleaned my windows a five dollar bill. And looked up emergency roadside assistance…just in case I ran out of gas on the way home. Besides, if we ran out of gas, I could kill time by googling “why does one of my testicles hang lower than the other?” on WebMD.

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