The Facebook Fight

May 31, 2013

Facebook….a way to connect with old friends…keep in contact with current friends…and another way to get into fights with significant others. Example:

You receive a notification on your phone from Facebook. Ahh, it’s a friend request from a girl.

“Oh hey, I remember her she’s that really nice girl with a really nice pair of….glasses. And when she bent over I couldn’t stop staring at her…jeans. Where did you get those jeans girl? Were they on sale?”

Of course I will add her as a friend. Who am I to deny friendship? I am not going to be an online snob. Friend request accepted.

At that very moment, your girl receives a couple of notifications from Facebook.

“You have receive a request for another life in Candy Crush Saga”

And another notification just for your girl.

“Your boyfriend/husband just accepted a friend request from a semi-attractive female. Please beware, let the question asking commence.”

And so starts the unexpected Facebook fight.

“Oh, hmm. Who is…ummm….Amanda? You just added her?”

No matter what you answer…it’s wrong.

“Oh Amanda? Yeah, she’s an old friend. Our parents were neighbors. I’ve known her since I was 8. We used to play doctor. She is currently happily married to this war hero. Great guy, yeah she would never cheat on him. Kinda like the way I would never cheat on you.”

Wrong answer.

“Really, Amanda? Well, why does her profile pic look like that?”

“Look babe, I can’t explain the pic. Well ok, maybe she felt the need to take a pic when she was coming out of the shower with only a towel on…because she was in a rush and was late for her job where she is trying to cure cancer…”

“I don’t really think she’s your friend. You just added her cause she’s hot.”

“Babe, look at her other pictures. I bet she has pics where she is just at the library reading a book or helping orphans.”

“You had sex with her!”

“Babe, no….don’t walk away. I met her way before you…and we didn’t have sex! I only put the tip in….and that doesn’t count!”

So now, whenever I receive any friend request from a female, I must produce concrete proof about how I know this female. And this paperwork must be notarized by two witnesses. And if I don’t do that…change my relationship status to “it’s complicated.”

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