Girls Are Laughing At Me.

May 30, 2013
A man’s looks follow the same spectrum. As a young boy, girls would call me cute. When I was a teenager, girls would say to me “you’re hella fine!” In college, women would say “he’s handsome.” And when I get older, I aim to be “rugged.” But something weird happened on the way to work today. I dropped off my little one and proceeded to change the “safe for little one to listen to” radio station to the usual uncensored rap station that I bob my head to on the drive to work. I upped the volume to an ear-splitting level and rolled down the windows. I eased into a stoplight and noticed a car filled with teenage girls next to me. I looked over and noticed they started to laugh. The light turned green and didn’t pay attention to it. But when I walked into my classroom, my mind began to process.

“Were they laughing at me? Was it the music I was listening to? Or was it because they think I don’t look like a person who should be listening to that kind of music? Or maybe they think I’m too old to listen to that type of music?”

I quickly ran to the bathroom. I stared in the mirror and saw a middle-aged man. What happened man? You used to have girls chasing you in high school…women leaving their boyfriends just to get a chance with you. And why does your “manhood” hang to the left now? It looks like a boomerang that wasn’t constructed right. I answered my own questions in my head.

“Yes, I know I’ve gained a little weight. But I could easily lose that if I stop eating Choco Tacos.”

“Yes, I could pay more attention to fashion and not limit myself to the same shirt and skinny jeans combo.”

“And no I don’t know why it ‘hangs’ like that…maybe I broke it from playing with it too much.”

I left my stand-off with the mirror with a new purpose. That’s it…no more Choco Tacos. And from now on, I will DVR anything to do with style and fashion. Well, maybe not…don’t want to delete Game of Thrones. And, I really don’t know what to do with the “boomerang dong” issue, but if I keep up with my promises, this future ruggedly-handsome man could avoid another car filled with laughing girls.

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